Hey Reader,

Yes, you.

The one reading this email while pretending to work.

The one with seventeen browser tabs open, a half-finished coffee, and a to-do list that's giving you side-eye from across the room.

Come a little closer. 😉

There you go.

Now tell me...

Was that you who used AI to write your last email? 🤨

You thought it was pretty good.

You hit send.

Then...

Crickets.

Open rates tanked.

Clicks were nowhere to be found.

Splat! Your email landed in the inbox with all the excitement of a beige waiting room.

Look, I'm not anti-AI.

I use it.

But AI is only as good as what you give it.

Ask it to "write my email," and you'll usually get oatmeal.

Warm.

Bland.

Technically food.

Nobody wants seconds.

​AI slop (yup, that's what they call it) is what happens when you let a robot do all the thinking and none of the feeling.

It's email copy that's missing a heartbeat. And your readers can smell it from a mile away. 👃

Too many em dashes, the phrase "delve into," and a paragraph that sounds like it was written by a robot…because it was.

You laugh.

Your readers do too.

Just not in the way you hoped.

The good news?

Most business owners don't have a writing problem.

They have a connection problem.

So before you write your next email, run it through these 12 techniques.

Not because I said so.

Because your readers deserve it.

1. Get Personal

Don't write to a crowd.

Write to one person.

One customer.

One prospect.

One human sitting at their kitchen table wondering if your product can solve their problem.

Your readers aren't gathered in a stadium waiting for your email to arrive.

They're reading alone.

So write like you're talking directly to them.

2. Keep It Conversational

Email is personal by nature.

It should sound like something you'd actually say.

Use contractions.

Use fragments.

Use interjections.

Woohoo!

Yikes.

BAM.

Uh-oh.

See?

That's how real people talk.

Not:

"Greetings, valued subscriber. We hope this correspondence finds you well."

Friends.

If I ever write that, please stage an intervention.

3. Avoid Industry Jargon

Nobody cares that you're leveraging synergistic growth opportunities through a multi-channel customer acquisition strategy.

See how annoying that sounds?

Use words normal humans use.

Your job isn't to impress people.

It's to help them.

4. Choose Your Words Carefully

Notice how often I've used the word "you" in this email?

That's intentional.

Because your readers care far more about themselves than they care about you.

When you're writing, focus on benefits.

Not features.

Instead of:

"My course includes 20 lessons."

Try:

"You'll stop staring at a blinking cursor wondering what the hell to send."

Same offer.

Different impact.

5. Make Your Email a Story

Last week I received an email that began:

"Dear Valued Customer,

We hope this communication finds you well."

I wish I were kidding.

Three seconds in and I wanted to lie down. 😔

Not because it was offensive.

Because it was boring.

Stories pull people in.

Facts inform.

Stories persuade.

6. Pace...Then Lead

Start where your reader already is.

"You're busy. You're overwhelmed. You don't know what to write.

You've started and stopped the same email three times.

Good. Now we're together."

From there, you can lead them toward a solution.

7. Show, Don't Tell

Telling:

"My email course is for busy business owners."

Showing:

"It's 10:47 PM. You're still wearing yoga pants.

The cursor blinks.

Mockingly.

You type:

"Hello everyone..."

Delete.

"Happy Tuesday..."

Delete.

"I hope you're doing well..."

Delete.

At this point you'd rather scrub the grout in your shower than write another email."

See the difference?

8. Create Emotion

You should know exactly how you want readers to feel.

Curious.

Inspired.

Relieved.

Hopeful.

Maybe even slightly called out.

The last email you opened immediately?

It wasn't because it contained "valuable insights."

It made you feel something.

9. Use Onomatopoeia

BAM - New lead.

Ding - New sale.

Achoo -Allergy season.

Splat -Another AI-generated email hits the Promotions tab face-first.

Words create pictures.

Use them.

10. Demonstrate

Don't just tell readers something works.

Show them.

"One of my clients considered stopping their monthly newsletter.

They thought nobody was reading it and it wasn’t making a difference.

When we looked at the numbers?

Over $50,000 in booked revenue came from people who regularly opened and engaged with their emails.

That's not theory.

That's proof."

11. Think Beyond the Sale

"Imagine six months from now.

Writing emails feels easier.

People reply.

They click.

They buy.

You stop wondering if anyone is reading your stuff.

And instead of dreading email marketing...

You start looking forward to it."

12. Don't Use Pretentious Language

If you don't know what I mean by this, you're probably a lost cause.

I kid.

Mostly.

But seriously...

You don't need to sound like a pompous ass to be professional.

Words like "furthermore," "therefore," and "in accordance with" belong in legal contracts.

Not emails.

As the great Tina Fey once said:

"Bitches get shit done."

You just don't need to sound like one in your inbox.

So save this email.

Print it.

Tape it above your desk.

Tattoo it on your forehead. (Okay, maybe not that one.)

Your readers don't want perfection.

They want a human.

Be one.

XOXOXO,

P.S. Hit reply and tell me which of the 12 techniques made you say, "Well, crap. I've been doing that wrong."

And if reading this has you thinking, "I'd rather wrestle a raccoon than learn copywriting," that's fair.

Your zone of genius probably isn't words.

It's mine.

Let's chat. 😀
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